If u're not christian, pls dont flame this.



Sometimes I wonder.

do we really have the heart for God?
because. there's this feeling of lukewarmness. there isnt this prescence of God there. It's that damn hard to find. how many times do we really kneel down. CRY. PRAY. for forgiveness and say Oh God how unworthy I am of being your child?
Is this church only there for the church? where is God? Why arent we the same as the church of the previous years? can I really find God here? Does the love for God really exist? or is it just a superficial thing? How the hell do I know if I can trust him/her with my life?Why do I think of such? something's not right.

The bible mentioned the lukewarm church.
im afraid, very.

We are prepared to serve the Lord only by sacrifice. We are fit for the work of God only when we have wept over it, prayed about it, and then we are enabled by Him to tackle the job that needs to be done. May God give to us hearts that bleed, eyes that are wide open to see, minds that are clear to interpret God's purposes, wills that are obedient, and a determination that is utterly unflinching as we set about the tasks He would have us do. But sometimes we do it for the sake of completing it. damnit. how do I know whether the fellowship im leading is worth leading? Is this any longer and me-God relation or a me-church relation? I wonder. it throws questions at me telling me this is TRULY a church, a family? are we really that spiritual? For some of the things I do it doesnt reflect upon the others around me? AM i outcast? or am I just more spiritual? I long for an answer.